Updated: Mar 11
As we all learn on this crazy ride called life, people in our lives come and go. Some people stay around longer than others. Some people come into our lives as a blessing and others come into our lives as a lesson. Some people we don't even realize have gone missing from our lives, while other people's absence in your life leaves you feeling like a part of you is missing to.
One of the hardest experiences that I have had to go through in my life is growing apart from people who I once called my best friend. It was especially hard seeing myself grow apart from best friends that I didn't want to grow apart from. But it wasn't my choice. I was the one who tried to make it work. I was the one who always texted first to start a conversation and asked to hang out. So to those who were once my best friend at one point and then left without an explanation: I forgive you. We never ended on bad terms. Thanks to you, I have learned to grow a thicker skin. I have learned that everything happens for a reason, and when one door closes, another one opens. Thanks to you, I found myself making new best friends that share the same interests I now have.
Even though my life has been extremely blessed and I am so glad to have the people that I do in my life currently, I still can't help but sometimes look back on the past and wish some things could have stayed the same. I get nostalgic a lot. Facebook memories doesn't really help leaving the past in the past, and cleaning out the pictures on my laptop to make more storage definitely leaves me feeling emotional. I have never been the type to cut someone off, especially someone who never did wrong to me. So I will never understand why you would do that to me. I gave you so many memories, my family and I. I was there through so much for you. I was only a phone call or text away. I can be angry, but I have realized that you clearly don't care about my emotions anyway, so why should I continue to waste them on you?
But, at the end of the day, through all the anger and hurt, I can never devalue all of the memories we have made. From hanging out all day as little kids, to making stupid videos that looking back were SO embarrassing, I can't act like none of that ever happened. You were such a huge part of my life at one point, and our relationship in one way or another has helped shape me into the successful woman I am today.
I am genuinely not mad at you anymore. Yea, there were days I asked friends and family what they thought about the situation. I asked them if I did anything wrong. But at the end of the day, none of that matters. What happened has happened, and I don't have bad things to say. You decided to live your life one way, and I decided to live my life another way, I guess.
But what happened? What was it that made you let go of the person you once called your best friend? And the fact you let me go as if I never mattered to at point. I could never think of doing something like that. What exact day did you decide that you were going to do this? Do you even miss me at all?
I have come to terms with the fact that I will probably never get your side of your story, especially because this happened so long ago. I just wished you could've stayed around longer to see where my career has led me, I wanted you to meet my boyfriend. I have been with him for TWO YEARS now. I think he is the one. I just hope that you find love and happiness in your life as well, even if I am not a part of that.
And just always know, no matter what, I am still only a phone call or text away.